I just called a grill a cookie because I forgot what it was called and it cooks stuff.


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2 notes   -   Posted 22 hours ago

jerkidiot:

wlovepierce:

jerkidiot:

sonnyforpresident:

jerkidiot:

jerkidiot:

IM A TEENAGER I WANNA BE DANGEROUS I WANNA DO SOMETHING CRAZY I WANNA GO STEAL A TRAFFIC LIGHT

REBELLION

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AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT TRAFFIC LIGHTS WERE A LOT SMALLER

YOU THINK THAT’S BIG?? CHECK OUT THIS STOP SIGN I JUST GRABBED

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STOP STEALING ROAD NAVIGATIONAL ESSENTIALS.

NO


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303,334 notes   -   Posted 1 day ago

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nosdrinker:

android1994:

nosdrinker:

where’s the gif of the chef with the really big frying pan

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bless you


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66,285 notes   -   Posted 1 day ago

thewearysavantponders:

purple skeleton going the extra mile.

thewearysavantponders:

purple skeleton going the extra mile.

(Source: ragdollvera)

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136,496 notes   -   Posted 1 day ago

orlandobloomers:

people used to have to paint their own selfies


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517 notes   -   Posted 1 day ago

chriscevans:

Can I hold you sir?

chriscevans:

Can I hold you sir?

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4,623 notes   -   Posted 2 days ago

erident:

flannelkind:

infancys-lie:

woundstobind:

OMG 

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my life will never be the same again

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uh huh

sure

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139,424 notes   -   Posted 4 days ago

garbledtenor:

g8dtier:

Honestly what is the appeal of asses I don’t get it. Like there is nothing attractive about them.

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143,204 notes   -   Posted 4 days ago

tangarang:

dan-mcneely:

okay so the other day i was walking downtown with my friend and a guy came up and asked for 50 cents to get a bus ticket. I said sure and started looking through my bag for my wallet and he just kept asking even though i had said yes, bartering with something in his hand.  

"i just need 50 cents. for a ticket. just 50 cents for a tic-here. i’ll sell you this for it. its my good luck charm. i’ll sell it to you for fifty cents!"
"dude its fine i got you covered you don’t gotta do that"
"no, I want to. im selling this to you. its lucky."
"im just trying to find quarters man no biggie!"
"i am selling you this. i want you to have it. it means a lot to me"

the second i handed him the quarters he pressed this into my hand and walked away very quickly, calling over his shoulder how it was mine now and how important it was. it’s solid metal and weighs at least five fucking pounds.
im about 100% certain it’s fucking cursed and he could only get rid of it by selling it so if i vanish out of nowhere that would be why.

aria getting cursed ass fuckin satan relics and youve only been in portland for like a month slow down.

tangarang:

dan-mcneely:

okay so the other day i was walking downtown with my friend and a guy came up and asked for 50 cents to get a bus ticket. I said sure and started looking through my bag for my wallet and he just kept asking even though i had said yes, bartering with something in his hand.  

"i just need 50 cents. for a ticket. just 50 cents for a tic-here. i’ll sell you this for it. its my good luck charm. i’ll sell it to you for fifty cents!"

"dude its fine i got you covered you don’t gotta do that"

"no, I want to. im selling this to you. its lucky."

"im just trying to find quarters man no biggie!"

"i am selling you this. i want you to have it. it means a lot to me"

the second i handed him the quarters he pressed this into my hand and walked away very quickly, calling over his shoulder how it was mine now and how important it was. it’s solid metal and weighs at least five fucking pounds.

im about 100% certain it’s fucking cursed and he could only get rid of it by selling it so if i vanish out of nowhere that would be why.

aria getting cursed ass fuckin satan relics and youve only been in portland for like a month slow down.

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18,576 notes   -   Posted 4 days ago

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